Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
