Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
