Can i not drive my cunt home
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
