Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(256): View more from Alabama

made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold

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(410): View more from Maryland

He asked if I wanted to "hang out"

(410): View more from Maryland

A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"

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(614): View more from Ohio

lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.

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(623): View more from Arizona

I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.

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(503): View more from Oregon

How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...

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(716): View more from New York

i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.

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(727): View more from Florida

i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?

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