Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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