That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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