Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
