It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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