Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
