doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
