ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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