Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
