He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
