I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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