That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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