it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm always down for nudity.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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