You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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