i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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