my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
