I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
