does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
