I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
