wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
