CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
