I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
