AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
