i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
