my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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