No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Let's get the cat blown out
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
