i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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