Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
