She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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