Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
