Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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