You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
