i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
