I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
