I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
