I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
