omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
