Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
