So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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