They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
