I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
