need another drink. this is the easiest way
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
