Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
