May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I have tasted many bathrooms
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
