i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
