I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
