quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
